First off, Adam “MCA” Yauch of the Beastie Boys passed away. I don’t know about you, but I’m a huge fan. This really sucks. So since the WWE puts up their own memorium messages at the start of their shows, I am putting my own one up for the start of my reviews. He will be missed. I’m going on a B-Boy marathon this weekend.

You’ll never guess who shows up on Smackdown tonight! Oops…

Seriously, let’s just hop to it, shall we? My day was lame, started off with a flat tire, had to cancel my day gig, got the tire fixed while I watched The Avengers. At least the movie kicked some serious ass.

– I’m pretty tired, but you know there’s No Sleep ‘Till…
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=07Y0cy-nvAg[/youtube]

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dXc9f71-gIU[/youtube]

– * Non-Title Match: Sheamus {C} vs. Daniel Bryan. Their match at Extreme Rules was excellent. So naturally this is NOT for the title? Why is this match happening? Maybe because Sheamus tells us before the match that he loves to fight. And then starts his own YES! chant. Sheamus is still selling his injured shoulder from Sunday right off the top. He rams Bryan and then gingerly (ha ha, used that adjective accordingly) rubs his shoulder. Bryan smirks a wicked grin, and goes to work isolating the injury. Sheamus tosses Bryan to the outside, and turns around to eat a cross body splash from the top ropes by Ricardo Rodriguez and Alberto Del Rio then kicks Sheamus in the head. Sheamus wins by DQ. Bryan locks in the YES! Lock post match, referees take away the Irishman while the heels bicker and squabble in the ring.

This one’s for Drowgoddess…

– Backstage, officials check on Sheamus who is having a fit clutching his shoulder.

– * Non-Title Match: Kofi Kingston and R Truth {C} vs. Hunico and Camacho. Oh look, another non-title match. Where’s Big Show and The Mediocre Khali? They beat the old champs clean a couple weeks back. Shouldn’t they be first to challenge the new champs? AW leads the Colons and El Dancing Girl to the top of the ramp to “observe.” It’s a decent match, mostly in part to the tag champs work and high flying. Truth lands the finish and the win for the team as the AW’s new clients look on in digust.

No coincidence I placed this here. I hope Jack called his momma before this match!

– * Brodus Clay vs. Jack Swagger. The Funkadactyls get their own announcement
(I may have missed this in weeks prior). Vickie announces Jack The San Jose Shark Swagger down to the ring. Dolph Ziggler is at ringside as well. Clay immediately goes after Swagger, taking this opponent more seriously than the norm (as he should). Swagger knocks the Funkasaurus to the outside, and Dolph sees his opening. But his running attack ends up in him bouncing off Clay’s headbutt. Awesome selling on Ziggler’s part here, HE FLEW! Clay gets a near fall on Swagger, who opts to leave the ring and take the countout rather than have the morgue call his momma post-mortem.

If I didn’t have to work tonight, this would have been my day I think. Hey Sunday, I’m looking at you. There better be some hockey on for me to watch too…

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu7tGUZeeCM[/youtube]
1 year and 6 days ago… 🙁

– Then we rewatch the debacle of the finish of the Lesnar/Cena match at Extreme Rules. While the match was fantastic, Cena wins? Are you fucking kidding me? You spent 5 Million on this guy to job him out in his first match back? RETARDED. Then we get all the HHH/Lesnar and Laurinaitus/Cena stuff from RAW… etc.

G @Charles Barkley: “Hey Chuck, didn’t I see you getting a champagne shower courtesy of Kenny Smith this week?”

Charles Barkley @G: “Honkey, don’t poke the bear. I have no clue what in the blue hell you are talking about.”

– Ace has taken a “Personal Day” leaving Eve in charge of the show. Bryan and Del Rio bicker some more, but R-Truth’s former “dancing girl” will have none of it. She will decide Sheamus’ fate and if he will have to wrestle again tonight? I think that’s what that was about, but I can’t be bothered to rewind. I don’t often do that.

G @Charles Barkley: “Umm… I am pretty sure you do, Barks.”

Charles Barkley @G: “Turrible. Go watch your fake sport, white boy.”

– * Damien Sandow vs. Derrick Bateman. Bateman gets no entrance, duh. Damien gets the familiar Hallelujah song as his entrance, AND MIC TIME. He thanks the crowd for their irrelevant opinion. Sandow refuses to combat this miscreant in the ring. He apologizes for this, but how else will we the fans learn? And we’re welcome. Then he leaves. Bateman wants a match then, regardless. Uh oh… someone is going to get eaten….

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qORYO0atB6g[/youtube]
Planetary… Planetary… Intergalactic…

– * Ryback vs. Derrick Bateman. Be careful what you wish for, right? I beat Booker T to the punch on that one. Ryback’s theme is called “Meat.” Wow so many potential jokes… anyways, Bateman actually gets a little offense in for a couple seconds, then is eaten. Ryback is done with the unsigned jobbers, I guess. Your winner? Meat.

You’ve got an army? We’ve got a Bork.

– * Randy Orton and Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes and Kane. Hey hey! It’s a put together match. And we’re only 1/2 way through this episode? Wow… I guess they probably are showing that Lesnar/HHH segment in full again tonight, Whatever. Much of the start of this match is brutally slow as Orton and Show isolate Rhodes in their corner. There is one funny spot where Orton goes to land his RKO, and Rhodes scrambles away only to turn around to see Show on the apron waving hi at him. Rhodes finally gets the hot tag to Kane, who has his momentum cut down immediately by Show.

This is how funny that was. The rest sucked.

– We come back, but frankly, this snooze fest loses my attention as I watch Beastie Boy videos. Big Show and Orton more or less destroy these guys. Show gets a chokeslam on Rhodes for the pin and the win.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VJAGJ8ckmZY[/youtube]
At least Jello Biafra of the Dead Kennedy’s gets it, Oprah. Back in 1986 people were pretty funny. I was 9, and thought the Beasties ruled. And the Dead Kennedy’s for that matter.

– Matt Striker interviews Sheamus backstage about his shoulder. I guess Sheamus will wrestle again tonight.

– * Non-Title Match: Layla {C} vs. Natalya. Meh. Natalya doesn’t get an entrance, and another non-title match. Although Layla got one on her return match. How the fuck does that work? Nattie is actually amused at the start at Layla’s attempts to wrestle. All smiley and what not. Not a fan of this, but at least they dropped the farting gimmick. Nattie does the job to Layla here as the Champ wins a meaningless match. Then we get some clips of Cena making a car on some show I don’t give a fuck about. The only cool thing about this clip is that Cena is wearing a CM Punk Ice Cream Bar shirt.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uvRBUw_Ls2o[/youtube]
Body Movin’ mother fucker. Let me get some action, from the back section…

– Antonio Cesaro is taking publicity photos with Aksana back stage, as Eve coaches them how to pose. Eve thinks Antonio looks dry, and demands Teddy rubs oil on Cesaro in yet another Teddy humiliation spot. A lone fan yells “Don’t do it, Teddy!” and the rest of the crowd begins to boo the hell out of this segment.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OR66VNY6gbk[/youtube]
I want Adam Yauch not to be dead, fuck.

– AJ chats with Kaitlyn. AJ apologizes, and then Kaitlyn says that “this little pity party she has over Daniel Bryan has got to stop.” SLAP! TIME FOR THE HHH/LESNAR… clip package.

They’ll be records playing and people swaying… The word stupid comes to mind, and that’s why that song should come with a disclaimer.

– * Non-Title Match: Sheamus {C} vs. Daniel Bryan. Del Rio and Ricardo join the commentary team, Del Rio on the microphone, and Ricardo on the smiles and nods. Del Rio calls Sheamus an Irish peasant. Sheamus is all taped up, and is selling the injured shoulder. It’s official arm-injury week in Canada, I suppose Cena, HHH, and Sheamus are honoring us Canadians. Bryan methodically attacks, and the story is predictable (but good, so who cares?). Sheamus misses a Brogue Kick, and flips outside the ring only using his good arm to attempt to catch himself from the floor, grabbing the ropes! Nice touch. Bryan looks smarthy as we cut to commercials.

I think these two should stick to their day jobs… just saying. Rancid rules. But tonight’s show is all about MCA. Whether the WWE realizes it or not.

– We’re told by Cole that Bryan has been relentless during the break… Bryan works the Champ over, taking the fight outside and into a steel ring post! I have to really give credit to Sheamus’ psychology selling as much as Bryan’s heeltastic tactics. Bryan removes the protective bandages while dropping knees into the back of Sheamus skull as he puts the good arm of Sheamus in a hold, and mocking him to hit him with his injury! LOL! BUT SHEAMUS IRISHES UP AND TOSSES THE HEEL INTO THE RING POST! Guess what kids? It’s time to learn to count, TWICE! The men trade some spots, building to a false finish by Bryan whose top rope missile drop kick is not enough… Finally, near the end of the bout, Del Rio causes a distraction… Bryan goes up to the top rope, but jumps face first into a Brogue Kick! SHEAMUS WINS! BAH GAWD! Well, maybe not THAT much enthusiasm, but this was a cool match.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=X0Y87LNw26U[/youtube]
Another classic…

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Two Sites!

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A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

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Shameless Plugs!

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The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.