I’m probably going to get heat for saying, “I told you so.” That’s right, on BWF Radio last Sunday (2PM EST), I mentioned that the main event would be a draw, as did a bunch of other people including ThinkSoJoE. Was it worth $55? No. Do you deserve a refund for consuming the whole thing? I’d argue no, but that was a pretty shitty PPV. I actually kind of liked that ending, because it was different. And this is coming from a guy who paid the full price for the 2006 December to Dismember.

BTW, the Rhodes Family match was great. It’s a shame it was rushed over a three-week period, but whatever. At least it was cool.

Hopping time…

“I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. And as J.T. Hogan has observed, it often makes more sense than the program you are actually watching. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question. I heard the RAW review took a giant dook and left it in your bed. Sleep tight!

– No BWF Theatre this week. It’ll return probably in a couple weeks. We’ve got a special guest on BWF Radio this week booked with DDP. And the following week, we will have another guest on to discuss TNA’s Bound For Glory as well as all the changes that company has been going through over the last 6 months or so. We return you now to your regularly scheduled Smackdown review already in progress.

People be trolling wikipedia again!.

– We re-watch all The Big Show stuff from RAW.

I hope that resolves the issue people have with the Big Show’s WMD.

– The ropes of the ring are still white and pink because…

Pink awareness month!

– Enter the Vickie Guerrero who had received the stink-scarf of ADR on RAW. But you see, Vickie is a much bigger fan of visual stimuli over scent stimuli, so she is bringing John Cena back from steroid-habbing from surgery. Guerrero is thrilled about Big Show being fired, and now his house is up for sale. ADR interrupts… He wants the match with Cena nulled, and all he has to do is kiss Vickie on the lips. Vickie almost corpses here, and on his third try ADR goes all in. Then Vickie wants her ass kissed, metaphorically. So even after workplace sexual harassment, ADR is fucked.

Best champion ever.

– Enter our intellectual savior, who tells us ADR is a phony who thinks he can manipulate Vickie. Sandow continues noting ADR would freak out if she let Sandow cash in his briefcase. Sandow is clearly turning face a wee bit here, and the two are Booker-T’d into a match tonight. Naturally, ADR attacks Sandow to end the segment, but only angers the intellectual Bruce Banner, and you know what happens when you make him angry. He chases you with his briefcase! HULK ATTACHE (Case)!!!!

@Charles Barkley @G: “Remember that twenty dollars you set aside for pizza this evening? I stole it… guess what I bought? #revenge”

@G @Charles Barkley @randomredhead: “JT, you owe me a new basketball legend. And a pizza, dammit.”

– Did you know The WWE App has been downloaded 8,000,000 times? That means only really stupid people who need us to walk them through how to do it every week until the end of time. The main event at Hell in the Cell this year will be Jerry Lawler vs iTunes Store!

You better have marked out for this.

– * IC Title Match: Curtis Axel {C} vs. R Truth (Just Because Match). Axel should always defend the I.C. title in every singles match. So right off the bat, this gets a bonus point from me. Note to self: invent meaningless point system to evaluate subject material. This match seems pretty good and garners my attention. Truth almost picks up the win, but Axel breaks the pin by grabbing the white rope, because you know, Dental Floss awareness month! Heyman channels his superior managerial skills and leads his agent to victory in a successful title defense. I give this match a Maple-Syrup-Coated-Ceaver out of Don Cherry. That’s a pretty high score!

Do you even fear, brah?

– * Los Matadors vs. Los Locales (a.k.a. Ricardo Rodriguez and Tyson Kidd). The Los Locales do not get entrances, and are jabronis to say the least. But at least Tyson Kid is back and Ricardo earned a paycheck. The Mole makes his way out with the Colons, and I think my pal Al Creed is correct. We WILL see El Torito at WMXXX (maybe scrapping with a heel Hornswoggle by that point). Will we see Los Matadors? J.T. is seen in a retirement home, holding up a sign which reads, “What’s a wrestling?”. He has gotten very senile in his retirement. Jorge and Joe are visiting him there this week, hence the lack of an appearance. This match is fun, and not terrible if you can accept the idea of some lucha style comedy on the show. I’m down, but understand why many of the IWC is all “complainy-pants” about Los Matadors. Seriously, I’m the guy who enjoyed Brodus Clay’s gimmick from start to present. Los Matadors of course win with their unnamed finishing move and pin El Locale Then El Torito takes all the credit by hitting a hurricanrana on Tyson Kid.

Fuck “Even Flow”. Even though I made that Break-song on BWF Radio one time. Y2J killls the Raven, everytime.

– * Cameron, Naomi, and Brie Bella (w/ Random Bella) vs. Kaitlyn, Eva Marie, and Natalya (w/Jojo). Oh snap. I watched this. It happened. It’s only here for Total Divas stuff later. Eva Marie is terrible. Naomi picks up some bullshit roll up win on Kathleen Turner.

I hope they pair Mojo with Jojo. They can have a Yoyo gimmick.

– Pekka Rinne interviews Goldust and Cody Rhodes backstage. They are all super excited to have jobs again. I kind of wish the fired angle went on until HitC, but it ended being the best part of last Sunday’s PPV. It was totally worth the price. Winky face emoticon. That means I streamed it err paid for it legitimately on one of those illegal streaming sites paid for it? Yeah, that’s the one that won’t get boredwrestlingfan.com in trouble. Spent money. Canadian Tire money.

– That R-Truth devil possession ad airs. He’s possessed by the ghost of the Ryback-Pink-Eye gimmick. It is pink awareness month, you know. Pink is a color. I’m told we’re all pink on the inside. I’ve attempted to prove this theory multiples times, and all it got me was a multi-million dollar deal to license to sell my lifestory to the creators of the now defunct show Dexter. Now that the show has ended, I can comment about this. The last season and finale were not based on me, though. My story continues to this day.

– * Non-Title Match: Alberto Del Rio {C} vs. Damien Sandow. This match is our mid-hour bout. So you know it’ll go for a while. Again, I can’t complain. I enjoy both of these guys in-ring work, albeit they have not been booked in the most ideal way. The two trade spots for the first half, which is good since it puts the two at a more even level as wrestlers. A neat moment has the two outside in which ADR goes to grab the briefcase forgetting it’s handcuffed to the ringpost. I’m kind of too tired to ramble on, and just succumb to what is a really enjoyable match. After a number of near-falls, Sandow ultimately submits to an armbar as the champion goes on to retain. Overall, this works. ADR should face Cena, but it was no easy task winning, hence making Sandow look good.

– More Big Show crap, then we get some Good Morning America clip crap with John Cena and Pink Awareness month. IT’S A COLOUR! In Canada we spell “colour” with a “u” because we’re fucking inclusive. It’s filmed in front of a Toys ‘R Us, and I can see a slightly-used-Bella doll in the main window with a sign stating “Heavily Used, Inquire Within.” Misogynistic you say? Have you Cena his house? No way the plastic twin is taking that shit from him. Hashtag fire the injured one.

Do they hand out cards for that in soccer?

– Seeing that I’ve been doing my laundry, and drinking, and it’s late, it’s about this time I start to get surly. Oh look. The Mediocre Khali is booked in a match. This will not end well.

Watch that spit fly…

– * 3MB vs. Broken Khali and the Prime Time Players. It’s funny, someone went from Mediocre to Broken during a commercial break. He’s the new plastic Bella. Fuck. Drew McIntyre is out here too, so those reports about him being repackaged and whatnot might be moleshit. FEAR THE MOLE, JILLIAN HALL! FEAR IT! DRY ICE IN A STAFF MOTHERFUCKER! But I digress. This match was short, it wasn’t much to write home to Fall Camp about. Everyone does a little dancing, but Heath Slater’s foolishness leads to Khali getting a hot Yoga tag from Titcancer O’Neil and karate chops Slater back to Guitar Hero 1. Knee dust every where with the pin. I’m tired, go bye bye now. I use my non-existent time-travelling, teleportation, reality altering, cloning device (that doesn’t exist… shhh…..) to kick the baby from that ABC Dinosaur’s show AGAIN into the crowd in honor of both Gene Snitzky and more importantly Kyle Broflovski. Everyone wins. Even Claire Lynch.

As logical as the Chewbacca argument on that South Park episode. What a smug bastard of a bear.

– * Cody Rhodes and Goldust vs. The Wyatt Family (Harper and Rowan). I’m not sure where I stand on this. The Wyatt Family is not Bray, so that’s good. They are the henchmen, but this goes against the whole subversive thing. Bray cuts a sick promo about his two henchmen going into this one… we shall see. Let’s be honest kids. Rowan sucks. But Goldust makes him seem passable. The match is kind of slow, and I’m kind of drunk, and it’s like fucking late. Bray guffaws in his rocking chair, and no one comes a-knocking to maintain said rhythmic flow of the chair. Cody gets the two Family members to the outside and attacks them from above, and Bray almost leaves his chair until Luke kicks the fuck out of said Cody. Cody spider-monkey’s his way into a pin on Luke with a rollup pin. Bray is up and out of his chair, but it doesn’t matter. This match was kind of a mistake, looking back at it now. No one winning helps either. I wonder if Kane has a 3 and a half foot penis in Cena Evil 2?

Bray Wyatt has crabs. It’s curable, though.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

Tell me I’m a retard on Twitter! Yes, you can mock me on social media now here: @GoftheInternet

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I APPEAR WEEKLY ON BWF RADIO!

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Listen LIVE starting at 2 PM EST here. here on Mixlr.com.
Check out BWF Radio every week. It goes up on i-Tunes on Sunday in the late afternoon of North America
Call in and leave a message (via Skype or Gmail and save a buck) at: 1(716)-HOGAN-97

Make sure you tell’em “Jorge” sent you. I will give you a shout out, maybe even get herpes! Hey, free herpes! It’s a win-win situation, right?

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

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A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

A go to place for professional wrestling, boxing, MMA, and other combat sports news, rumors, podcasts and so forth. Always a nice place to get your fix, or simply learn more about the performers and athletes themselves. They are one of our go to resources for news and information for BWF Radio, and we wouldn’t have it any other way to share our content with them. Great site!
Joe continues not to notice this section. 😀 It’s like a Talking Heads song or something. 4 weeks and counting. He was warned.

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WTF?

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Sept 6, 2013. I am a clone of G. I am currently handcuffed to one of the lower legs of G’s sofa in his apartment. Yesterday, while the real G was at work, monkey nearby shrieked at me to attempt to lift the sofa. It worked! I went to thank the monkey located in an open-doored cage on the stairs leading down to the basement of G’s basement apartment, and noticed a large man strapped into a chair in the basement. I then heard the original G returning home. I need to find his magical device that created me…

Sept 13, 2013. The real Gee has noticed my writing. That stupid fuck hasn’t deleted anything, but he did taze me repeatedly. I still think there is a monkey held captive on the stairs to the second level of this building.
Sept 20, 2013. Made progress today. Discovered some kind of cloning device. I used it to clone the device itself, and hid the copy under the couch I am “hand-cuffed” to. The monkey saw this, but I don’t think he’ll say anything. He’s a monkey, after all. Some dude named Johnny Storm stopped by to say hi. Weird.

Sept 27, 2013. An obese man who claims to be famous magically appeared in the living room today. He told me the cloning gadget I made a copy of has the powers to do much more. Sounded like a bunch of crap to me. I immediately knocked him out and tied him up beside the one the “real” G calls “Barks.” Both look the same. I killed the new guy and fed him to the other captives. I think. They both look the same. All of that future-talk and preventing the death of kayfabe annoyed me. Either way, one of the “Barks” was dinner. He tasted like chicken. Big surprise there.

Oct 4, 2013. So I guess the guy I fed to his doppleganger was actually able to escape last week with help from that J.T. guy. He was screaming something about “his” chair. Either way, G is pissed and punished me all week. He said something about maybe sending me to Fall Camp. I decided to not make any decisive moves. It seems for the best. Just like the WWE, I guess, albeit “best” isn’t the “best” word I’d use to describe the product.

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Shameless Plugs!

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Bored Hockey Fan is by the fans for the fans and delivers content related to hockey in any forms. We encourage similar minded people to contact us and represent their team’s POV, while retaining the rights to their work.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

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An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

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ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.