And Hillbilly Jesus cried…..

Getting ahead of myself. After what should of been the greatest PPV of the year, but instead turned into false expectations and lukewarm matches (except for Austin Aries vs Kendrick, and Lynn/RVD) we have the aftermath.

Impact Wrestling starts with a Sting promo, which leads the former insane icon to call out Hogan. Hogan comes out and gives props to Stinger for the assist in getting back on the right track. He talks on about how it wasn’t Bischoff’s fault for what happened and he takes responsibility for his actions for being a follower instead of a leader.  After Hogan leaves, in steps Dixie Carter. She goes on how Sting warned her 18 months ago about Bischoff/Hogan’s plan. Sting accepts her apology and is given the task as…Mick Foley’s Job?? Anyway he’s appointed in charge of Impact Wrestling. But Angle steps out next. He talks about how Dixie being back doesn’t make him happy and how he’s the world champion and will make decisions. Out steps Roode, he tells Kurt that he screwed him and Angle agrees telling Bobby he was a threat and couldn’t let him win. (Nice job making him look threatening) Tells Roode that when they signed the contract Angle took advice from Hogan/Bischoff and put in a no rematch clause.

And just as Kurt is about to mockingly steal Storm’s trademark line guess who’s music hits, James Storm says that since Roode can’t get his rematch he instead volunteers himself. Sting steps in and makes it official. Storm gives Angle the Shade eyes before saying “Sorry about your damn luck!”

Okay for it being what it was that whole segment including commercial breaks (which there where two) Lasted 40 minutes in length. By the time we came back to the show with the Knockout Tag match it was 44 after the hour. Sorry about being a watch Nazi but that was long. That could’ve of been resolved in backstage segments.

Whatever. We have the Knockouts Tag match with former MIA Tara.  She and Ms Tessmacher have a match against the TTLV or as I all them Love and Winter with the titles on the line.  After a decent match which besides Love’s attempts at offense was capitalized with Tessmacher flying throw the air Ricky Dragon style (flying crossbody) on Winter for the three. She is working her butt off for the respect of the fans without all the push behind her.

The Promos in no particular order include: Hogan being cornered in the parking lot by Immortal, Bischoff tells Hogan to face him like a man in the ring later.

Velvet Sky talks about everything she has went through to get the knockouts title. Which includes clips of her as the heel team the beautiful people alongside Madison Rayne holding the knockout tag titles while laughing heel like. Of course this is followed by her narration of being picked on as a child and through school and how she decided she would never allow that to happen again and to fight for everything she wants. This must include her putting bags on people who were not considered beautiful and spraying hairspray in peoples faces?

Eric Young is doing a photo shoot when Robbie E and Rob Terry confront him. Robbie E wants the television title which Eric obliges on the condition that Rob Terry doesn’t interfere or Eric will get his big time television friends to help him, this is before mentioning Ronnie from the Jersey Shore. (Sigh)

Abyss takes on Gunner. Gunner cuts an okay promo in which he describes how bad ass he is this is before Abyss comes out and destroys him. Gunner runs away to the back. Abyss wins by countout. Backstage Gunner runs into Immortal and tells them “That wasn’t Abyss out there, that was the monster”. They blow him off and proceed to take out Hogan.

In the ring Bischoff talks and eventually slaps Hogan only to cause Hogan to point his finger which the crowd chants “YOU” before Eric runs and Immortal runs in. Sting flies in with two baseball bats and scares off Immortal. Bischoff while walking up the ramp bumps into his son who he berates and even rips off his shirt revealing a Bischoff tattoo over his heart. Garrett B punches his dad before giving Hulk the thumbs up.

Velvet Sky comes out with the Knockouts belt. Talks about the sacrifice she put in and blah blah blah. Karen with Traci come out. First Karen has Traci removed from the arena before moving forward with her plan to physical hurt Velvet. Out comes Madision Rayne. While Velvet is distracted by her a returning Gail Kim runs in and ambushes her from behind. Soon both women Kim and Rayne are beating the tar out of Velvet before all three hug.

And finally we have the conclusion of the program, which include the best 6 minutes in main event history and this includes Jeremy Borash’s introductions of the wrestlers. Welcome Time Nazi, from Midwest time. From 9:50-9:56pm, We have Kurt Angle VS James Storm. But before that we have the Roode pep talk about how Storm’s been preparing for this a long time. Anyway when the bell rings at 9:54pm and Kurt starts beating on Storm in what looks like a not so typical Kurt Angle match getting Storm into the corner before the ref pulls him off twice well on the second attempt Storm busts out the Last Call AKA Super kick and floors Angle for the 3, all by 9:56pm.

What a way to win the title. I know that being a time nazi is not fun but Kurt mentioned in the earlier promo from the opening of the show that him and Roode went for 30 minutes, which means Angle is slowly losing take of time. Because from my recollection it was more like 14 minutes. But who’s counting.

After a brief celebration in which Storm tries to hand Roode the belt which he respectfully declines. We close out at 10:01pm. Bound For Glory is TNA’s Wrestlemania, Starrcade and so on  but after Thursday all it really says is that no fan needs to waste money on the program because they can watch a painfully talkative show with a face finish for free. Oh yeah since Impact is being lazy so am I. Here is my one picture.