Wow, today was really long. Getting called back to the night job after getting home made things unnessarily longer, so getting to Smackdown so late is not bode well for my FFW button. Nonetheless, I have been enjoying this program over all other programs (barring ROH), and it is the go home show before Survivor Series… so let’s hop to it, shall we?

I watch, write, suffer, and succumb to this show, yet have to remind myself of what happened only minutes after each episode. That is how G’s Smackdown reviews work. This is not a play-by-play recap, there’s enough of those online. This is a highly-opinionated take of the show in question.

G’s podcast recommendation! I’d be remiss not to mention the BWF Survivor Series roundtable… This week: The BWF Survivor Series roundtable. We recorded this prior the announcement of the Dolph/Morrison title match.

– We kick off the show with Mark Henry beating down Daniel Bryan back stage yelling “You think you can take me?” and hurling him into a wall. Henry drags him into the arena, and the ring, the give’s him a World’s Strongest slam and a splash subsequently. This is not a match, but an impromptu beating. The ref’s eventually break this up. Interesting opening segment…

The sparkle text makes this even more creepy and reminds me why I left myspace all at the same time.

– Vickie Guerrero is in the ring, shilling the fact that Dolph is once again doing double duty at a PPV by participating in Team Barrett’s squad and then defending his US title against John Morrison.

All will become clear later….

– * Non-Title Match Dolph Ziggler {C} vs. Sin Cara. Yes, they are still using the different lighting scheme for Sin Cara. Dolph gets to it early, telling the usual big man/little man story. And that’s what it is. Fun match as the two trade some good spots. Dolph uses his heel powers to get the win, but Mason Ryan runs in post match to run Ziggler off from any further post match shenanigans…

See? This is how you prank a McDonald’s drive-through. Well done.

– * Jack Swagger vs. Mason Ryan. Ryan is getting better (although still green). Swagger manages to do a good job at carrying this one though. Ryan takes lots of moves, and then charges up for short bursts, rinse, lather, repeat. The thing that doesn’t work here, is that Ryan should be the guy delivering the majority of the attacks if we were to believe the visual look of both involved. Not that Swagger is a small guy… Whatever, this is used to help put over the traditional Survivor Series match this Sunday. Mason Ryan uses the Masterlock Full Nelson to take out Swagger unconvincingly for the pin and win and I miss Chris Masters. I can’t believe I do, but I do.

Charles Barkley @G: “Check out my new look?!?”

G @Charles Barkley: “I… umm… look, I’m too tired to be witty this week Barks.”

– Alicia Fox tells Justin Gabriel he’s dreamy, Zack Ryder enters for some reason, then Big Show enters and says the “Woo woo” line. Ryder informs Show about Mark Henry beating down Daniel Bryan at the start of the show to send out a message to Show. Show looks sad and like it’s his fault… end scene.

– Hornswoggle and Ted Dibiase are playing the new WWE 2012 game. I’ve heard very mixed reviews about that title, and for those of you in the know that I am an avid long time gamer, I think I will pass on this year’s installment. Regardless, Aksana enters just after Teddy Long does and tells him she is into “the videogames” and wants to become and expert at “the joystick.”

– Enter Christian, in a neck brace, on crutches (his real injury is his ankle). He points out he actually fought Sheamus like a man with his kayfabe neck injury and it messed up his ankle. He shows a gruesome picture of his ankle… and that even though he cannot compete, he will support Team Barrett because he is special and makes people around him better. As much as he would love “one more match,” he cannot due to the incompetence of Teddy Long. Christian demands from the crowd “Do you even care that I’m injured?” The crowd gives him “What?!?” Christian tells us Teddy Long is going to face severe consequences for this, and limps off angrily. Nice promo!!

I don’t understand why I dig this so much….

– A.J. consoles an injured Daniel Bryan backstage and the Big Show comes to check on him. No one tells A.J. that she will later take the sickest Sharpshooter of all time. Probably because she comes to the ring like she is an extra in a Charlie Brown Christmas dance sequence. He looks at his buddy, and simply states angrily, “I’m going to go find Mark… I’m going to go find him now…”

Skyrim meets old school NES.

– * Ted DiBiase vs. Derek Bateman. For those who don’t even try to follow NXT (can’t blame you, I usually put it on during the weekend while I set up my Yahoo! NHL pools), Bateman was a former “contestant” on said program who returned midway through the series of Redemption. I like Bateman, but not this Maxine love story that’s going on. Maxine was on the debacle of NXT for Divas that gave us A.J. and Kaitlyn. It also gave us CM Punk on commentary (awesome!) and the epic Micheal Cole animated gif that closes every wrestling review I’ve done for a long time. Tonight, it gave Dibiase a squash match over Bateman. Not much else to talk about here, folks.

I hate to admit that I’ve done this. So I won’t.

– Big Show is running around backstage looking for Henry, Jinder Mahal and Tyson Kidd laugh at him, noting Henry is long gone. Mahal says something in Punjabi (I think, sorry not fluent). Show retorts, “You want to repeat that Slick?” to which Mahal dons a shit-eating-smile and says, “No.” Show drops him with one punch. Kidd looks awkwardly down and the fallen Calgarian (representing), back at Show, and steps over his fallen heel chum and out of harms way. I actually laughed out loud at this one.

We can build these again in Calgary. I hope he melts and dies, personally. Fuck you winter.

– Show cuts an in ring promo putting over his bout with Henry on Sunday. He always carries “a certain piece of footage” where-ever he goes. It’s when Henry took out Show’s ankle four months ago with the chair spot and begat the current Hall-of-Pain gimmick that has made Mark great. Blah, blah, blah, yawn.

– * Hunico vs. Kofi Kingston. More Survivor Series traditional team teasers. You know, at least they got this part right this week. It’s funny, Hunico rants in Spanish to the crowd. I secretly hope that Kofi will rant in the native tongue of Ghana, but no. It would have been a I-Have-No-Fucking-Idea-What-You-Just-Said debate (hey, maybe even Jinder Mahal could get involved if he hadn’t gotten knocked the fuck out). Hunico is given more offense than I expected here, and it is a pleasant surprise. He’s able to deliver a nice mix of styles, from ground and pound MMA style submissions to more technical spots. Refreshing reboot of the character. In a very short amount of time, we see some crisp moves by both wrestlers involving high flying, reversals, roll-up attempts. To be honest, this gets me very excited. I would love to see these two in 10+ minute match!! 🙂

Precisely why the WWE has their “Don’t Try This At Home” ads. Nice RKO though.

– * Beth Phoenix and Natalya vs. Kaitlyn and A.J. The Divas of De…. crying or something (stupid WWE) make their way out to face the NXT almost-was’. Meh. Don’t care. But because you want to know, of course I’ll provide results. I will mention I like that Natalya and Beth are both rocking the Pink and Black Attack ring attire as of late. Natalya locks in a ridiculous looking Sharpshooter to submit A.J. I guess she is incredibly flexible, because that would paralyze most people. Looky here:

Another original for you, I hate that Gifsoup is inconsistent and why I redirect all of these to Wonderpodonline.com once they are made to avoid that site. It’s a good service, but TOTALLY unreliable. Also, OWWW!!

– Cut to the Rock’s promo on RAW to fill time. We’re reminded that the Rock clearly doesn’t have to clear the same wellness-tests as Evan Bourne, nor Mason Ryan for that matter. Made the animated gif seen above during it… boots to asses? Sure. Paying for the PPV? No.

– * Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett & Cody Rhodes. As much as I am loving the way they are building the Survivor Series team match, fuck me if I’m not tired at this point. Since the WWE seems to have a fetish with social media, I do my duty to post a status update in lieu of this… to all -171 people who likely don’t care:

Regardless of sarcasm, I’ve enjoyed my time….

– Cody Rhodes’ demasking is looking to be official. He pops up in a mini promo as the heels enter. Rhodes is kind of back to his slow-methodical delivery of lines, but not all the way there. GO BACK TO IT NOW! He doesn’t necessarily need to have the mask, but the microphone persona NEEDS TO STAY.

Meh, this reality sucks… a quick change of scenery should solve the problem.

– This dissolves quickly into the Randy Orton show. Meh. Orton dismantles Barrett early with a ring-rope-suspended DDT then kicks the fuck out of Rhodes as we hit our first commercial break. Sheamus went for a pint in the concourse apparently? When we return, I notice Christian is standing at ringside cheering on the heels. What a trooper. Honestly, it’s an interesting way to use him with the injury, and it plays off of Barrett’s declaration of being a “natural born leader.” Sheamus looks bored as the heels turn things around and isolate the Viper. Things get ugly outside, as Barrett tosses Randall Keith Orton out, and Christian allows his crutch to become a weapon. We actually go into an over-run on Smackdown, something I set my DVR for (nice try WWE). The crutch handoff doesn’t phase the Celtic Warrior who lands a big boot, then Orton hits an RKO, and a Celtic Cross on Barrett as….

The WWE logo comes up, and I’m out.

I criticize because I care. I did enjoy the show. I wouldn’t watch if I didn’t love this shit.

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This Smackdown Review Appears on Three Sites!

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A break down of various professional wrestling programs and events from the eyes of the smarky fan! I highly recommend checking out the BWF!

The official home of Wonderpod, and an assortment of content ranging from all things wide and far… depending on what the author’s feel like writing about. A home for reviews, commentary, pop culture, and fiction just to start. Always worth a look.

BTW, Actually
These reviews started off in a place called Project Wonderboy, a site that shares the name with it’s original founder, “whatever.” But this incarnation was under the Morphine Nation banner. That site is now evolved with all it’s original members at BTW, Actually. This place is all about challenging censorship and political correctness in an intelligent way.

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Shameless Plugs!

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The Cultural Revolution (TCR Comix)
Al Creed’s comics dominate tongue and cheek humour here.

Wonderpod
A weekly podcast about the world of video games, from player experiences to current events in the industry, Bruce McGee, Pat Man, Glasenator, Jonkind and/or Gun Sage provide insight into the medium for any gamer (whether casual or “pro”). Clicking the jump will take you to the iTunes page!

LarG Productions
An online music production project, free tunes spanning many genres… check it out!

Thinksobrain
ThinkSoJoE’s band, who is also the boss over at Bored Wrestling Fan. For those digging some sweet metal influenced, intriguing tunes… you really need to grab yourself an earfull.