Hello and welcome to the opening paragraph. I have such a bloody hard time getting these things started. Hell how many times can you say happy Tuesday before it becomes boring. Either I need to make my coffee stronger in the morning or just live with standard boring openings. Right now I am wondering how mad Pat is going to get if I start using NSFW images in my post to draw traffic. I am after all a whore.

I love twitter because it brings me things to share with you fine people. It appears from the article I was just reading that a female suicide bomber in Moscow was done in by spam. That is correct, smart phone spam has saved lives. Apparently this wing nut had her phone on and it was the detonator for her bomb belt. The phone received a spam text message about two hours before she was going to detonate the bomb rig. This spam message triggered the bomb and in the process killing just the bomber. The best part, the message was from the cell phone provider wishing the customer a happy new year. Suicide bombers are nothing to laugh at, but I must admit to chuckling at this story. Check out the full story for yourself here.

So if you haven’t been paying attention, Steam has Sega Mega Drive and Genesis games on there now. Cool part is they range at only a few dollars a game. There is also collections of games for around eight to ten dollars. Games from the Sonic series, Gunstar Heroes, Shining Force, Streets of Rage, and the classic Toe Jam and Earl. I am currently rocking through the RPG’s Sword of Vermillion and Land Stalker The Treasure of King Nole. I suggest you hit up steam and check it out. If your in to abuse, the new indie darling Magicka is there as well. I would suggest buying it on a console as the controls are a bit odd for PC. Plus you get to save once a chapter, which means I will probably never finish the bugger.

Writing something funny has never been easy for me. I can write twisted and warped stuff pretty easily. Sandy Toaster Pant’s proves that much, yet it really hard to get the funny on paper. Take for example the kicked in door story I mentioned last Friday. While that story was amusing, it is far funnier being told live. I use to worry about not being able to take the machine gun style smart ass thoughts in my head and put them to text. Over the last several years I have listened to a number of stand up comedians talk about coming up with material as they go. They all agreed that written material never worked for them. It was always weaker than stuff they made up on the spot. While I will probably never be as funny as they are, it does give me some comfort hearing that. Sadly I suffer from a fairly virulent case of stage fright. So don’t look for me to be hitting your local comedy hut any time soon.