I need to give you guys a little set up on this post.  I wrote this after playing Skyrim until my brain fell out my ear.  It was one of those pieces that just seemed silly so I promptly forgot about it. Until this morning when I found it while tidying up one of my hard drives. Since we have been doing a lot of video post’s I figured what the hell.  Might as well post it.

I have been playing a lot of Skyrim. To the tune of 85 hours at the time of this post. Naturally being kind of twisted, I started thinking about how my character would fit in to my world. The first thing I thought I thought of was the poor bugger trying to fill out a dating web site profile. So what your about to read is a citizen of skyrim trying to fill out an e-harmony (or whichever) dating profile.

Name: Norfred The Nord.

Ethnicity: White (pale fugging white)

Height: 6’7”

Body Type: Ripped

Diet: Meat and Mead

Smokes: No

Drinks: Every damn night at the bee and barb

Drugs: No

Religion: Talos

Sign: Fire Bung

Education: Old man beating me until I stopped him

Job: Warrior, Part time thief, dabble in magic and alchemy for cash on the side

Income: I got a few septiums if that is what your asking

Children: several dozen

Pets: Horse named Shadowmere and a dog named Daedra

Speaks: when spoken too.

Describe yourself: Just your basic nord really. Lived in Skyrim most of my life, until I was transported by a Dwemer portal to this land. Spent most of my years with the Storm Cloaks. Which is a group not unlike you Elks lodge, only with a lot more killing. I had a small farm on the outskirts of White Mill. Until bandits came along one day stole my wife and half my children. Not two days later a dragon swooped down and burned my house and livestock. Three days after that I awoke to a glowing portal above my tent and ended up here. The customs and citizens of this land are strange, but I am trying to make the best of it. If you see anything you like feel free to send me a note via electronic courier.