Impact Wrestling Review- Prop characterization, Mixxed Tag and Karen’s void makes it Rayne

Welcome to another edition of Impact Wrestling for Dec 22nd. After the events of Final Revolution, Impact is gearing towards Genesis were Hardy will face Roode for the World Title, Devon will take on the Pope and Double Trouble, and when called for a tag title match will emerge from this Wild Card tournament.

Impact opens with a replay of last week, with the decimation of Hardy and Sting. Following it up with an appearance from the heels as Roode w/ Bully Ray the culprits of the beat down. Roode spews his heelish hate which eventually leads to him attempting to get Sting to suspend him so he doesn’t have to defend his world title at Genesis.

Taz:Wouldn’t Roode being suspended lead to being stripped of the title? Tenay: Yes, Captain Obvious.

(*sidenote: wouldn’t suspension lead to being stripped of the world title?) Any who, Jeff Hardy’s music hits. He marches down to the ring and tells Roode he will not be suspended and infact he, Roode and Bully Ray will be involved in a tag match tonight. All Jeff is missing is a partner. Ray prods Hardy with insults claiming no one wants to be his partner because he’s an outcast. (I guess his “drug induced performance at Victory Road” isn’t good enough) And like a angel Sting makes his entrance, he makes sure to walk backwards turning around to reveal…….

Tenay: Joker Sting?!!! what a bunch of bull…..

He claims to always respect Hardy and will gladly be his partner. (Even though the beat down he took last week would of been good enough reason.)

Wild Card Tag Team Tournament: AJ Styles + Kazarian take on RVD + Christopher Daniels

This was a good match that brought out the crowd. And lets not forget reminded the world that Kazarian still exists.

Taz: Where’s Waldo? Hey if Double J didn’t want to play ball why should we.

Styles who is on occasional still trying to sell his injury. RVD and Kaz have some good back and forth but when this match becomes a handicap situation this is where the plot thickens.

Tenay: By which I mean plot advancement for Genesis

Daniels won’t tag in. That is until RVD attempts a rolling thunder on Kaz. Daniels takes control until he loses the upper hand leading to him wondering over to RVD who enziguri kicks him into Kaz for his fade to black. AJ and Kazarian advance. And I’m assuming the RVD vs Daniels at Genesis will happen.

Best of Three Series: Zema Ion vs Tony Nese, 2nd Round

After Zema embarrassed Nese last week with a triple round of show moves that ended the match, Nese cuts his own promo about his strength and how he is a threat in the X division. Also it should be pointed out that Zema Ion is a heel. A young arrogant foreign heel. And will possibly be taking on Austin Aries in another heel vs heel match. But to further set the tone for his heelishness we are shown his new prop gimmick a long standing tradition with the new guys because when your a face you love football (Sorenson) and when your a heel (Zema Ion) you come out with a non descript hair spray can that you use profusely around you to show that you kill the environment. Thank you guys in the back, Russo,Pritchard,Conway and the various others with input with clarifying. We basically have a repeat of last weeks match with Zema acting all arrogant earlier in the match. He again knocks out Nese only to pick him up after 2, leading him to tell everyone to wait. He of course this week walks into Nese’s power legs and gets rolled up into a pin. Never has a contest been so obvious. Nese doesn’t even have a prop.

Promoville: Madison Rayne and The Pope

Karen’s shriek filled void this week will be induced by none other than the Queen B herself Madison Rayne. Because that is so awesome. When I see her also wearing a ref shirt I know I’m in for some more Traci bashing or some Gail proping goodness. (sarcasm is king here) Will this Knockout VP nonsense ever end in a satisfying conclusion before the outside world thinks its division revolves around Karen and/or Madison?

NO! and enjoy

 

Now on to the Pope feud promo. Watching this brought me into a blaxploitation movie full of 70’s cars and white snow bunnies who love their choclate daddies, it was like Superfly meets Undercover Brother. It even had racial implications as when Devon was attacked from behind and in his fury it sounded like Pope called Devon a n****** before finishing up with a black a** but you know its the stereotypical Pope letting his congragation know that he’ll be pimping in the mid card with teenage boys.

Oh and Eric Young and ODB went on a date. Because a goofball and a truckers dream

Taz: I won’t lie I’d hit that

make for the best odd couple.

Rayne comes out and proceeds to call out….

Tenay: TNT, which for those who are acronym challenged are Tara and Tessmacher

Why does she call them out instead of this factions favorite punching bag Traci? Because she hates their closeness. She didn’t go for the obvious quasi lesbian jokes that should of been inputed, but you know Madison still wishes she had a friend in Tara. I guess. What we end up getting is Rayne’s patented killing crowd syndrome where every one just sits there as we watch a train wreck in progress. Tara and Tessmacher even go all Chikara on us and does the slow motion match for like 2 minutes to little reaction other than those in the know.

Tenay: And I know somewhere, Vincent Kennedy McMahon is laughing at how he has devolved women’s wrestling and turned it viral. Taz: What? Tenay: Nothing.

This drags for what seems like 20 minutes when in actuality is more like 5 maybe 8 minutes. Finally ending when Tara+Tessmacher look at the crowd/tv when Madison is screeching “someone hit someone” and take out Rayne. Madison screeches some more up the ramp and we are treated to some crowd noise at TNT succeeding and shutting Rayne up.

We have a Storm promo where were he talks about where to find him. In florida, or in his local bar. Kurt takes him up on that offer and shows up in his home town were he proceeds to insult the town floozie and get into a bar fight with a bunch of rednecks eventally superkicking five men while they’re on stools. James Storm was not impressed.

Wild Card Tag Tournament: ODB + EY vs Anarquia + Shannon Moore

Shannon before the match cuts a promo with Wonder Years stating that he’s going out there and doing what he has done best for the past 17 years

Tenay: which I am assuming is walking away. Taz: Like his former partner Neal. Tenay: Bazinga!

Anarquia is a embarrassment to his faction especially as he lay writhing in pain after ODB kicked him in the balls. Rosita and Sarita just stared at him yelling. Bye bye to OVW. Eric Young and ODB win and celebrate by picking each other and Earl Hebner up. I can get behind that.

Main even match: Roode/Ray vs Sting/Hardy

In a Street Fight: Faces have control for the opening part of the match not using weapons. Eventually after a poke to the eyes Ray starts smacking every one and their momma with kendo sticks. Heels look strong beating the faces with cookware and faux Kendo sticks.

Thank you, Sandman

Eventually the faces come up victorious as Hardy pins Roode. Here’s to Genesis as Roode retains eventually leading to the epic rematch between James Storm and Roode. And we’re out until next week.

 

 

 

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3 Responses to “Impact Wrestling Review- Prop characterization, Mixxed Tag and Karen’s void makes it Rayne”

  1. _G_ says:

    YES! Love the Tenay commentary shtick. Very cool premise to cap this show. I had a mixed reaction to this episode as I wrapped it up this AM. I actually really enjoyed the Angle segments, but wonder if the humor tends to lean him towards being a face more than a heel. TNA seems to approach the show with this often, and it doesn't seem right to me. Maybe it's a result of conditioning from other programming over the years…

  2. pintnoir says:

    Have to love Tenay. Angle to me has always made a goofy heel even in Vince's Country. I had to make this review entertaining. Thinking about doing something else next week.

  3. patman says:

    I agree that Angle makes a strange or maybe " goofy" heel character.